July 8, 2002

WHAT A HALF! It's been a memorable year so far in Santa Lechuga. Mayor Rube Furrow survived yet another recall attempt. And residents are still cleaning up the mess after that goat stampede. Happily, the citizens of Santa Lechuga can point to the SLPL as a beacon of light in an otherwise dismal year . . . CONGRATULATIONS to Josh Walker (aka Pepe Salchuga) owner of Chorizo Guerreros, for an impressive first half. His savvy pitching picks has allowed him to overcome the fact that he doesn't have Lance Berkman, and he's the leader at the All-Star break. It's not often that the SLPL commissioner can boast that a true gentleman is actually winning the league . . . HOWEVER, it's obvious after watching the standings through the first several months that Josh has a tough job ahead if he's going to stave off the jackals nipping at his heels. John Livernois' (aka Homer Bedlow's) Stampeding Bovines is not far off the pace. And Lucy Juarez' (aka Patos Lucas') Pancho's Sandalias has been strong all year . . . Commissioner Rube Furrow's own Bus Wreck is proof that all other team ownership groups languishing in the middle of the pack still have a shot at glory. Only a month ago, the Bus Wreck was in 21st place, until Shawn Green and Jim Thome got hot. Now the Bus Wreck is a contender . . . The main thing is: DON'T GET YOUR DOBBER DOWN! Prize money is available, even if you don't win the whole ball of wax. Remember that Division winners also win a share of the pot. This is good news to team ownership groups like Lon Gallagher's Charlie Don't Surf. Lon is 19th overall, but he's less than 50 points off the lead in the tight pennant race in La Division Anaranjada . . . FIRST-HALF HIGHLIGHT: SLPL's Number-One Web Gem goes to George Dunne's Dingers. Who can forget the fabulous play of Dunne's Robert Person, who picked up 70 points in a single game when he slugged a home run and a grand slam? Though Dunne is more than 1,000 points out of first place, he's the hands-down leader in the important Bonus Points competition . . . LOW LIGHT OF THE YEAR: Even without the bonus points, Dunne would be ahead of Barbara & Whimp's Mt. Signal's Bazabals. Scott Sauerbeck might have seemed like an inspired pitching choice four months ago, but in retrospect Hank Sauer would have been a better choice . . . DAVE JANNUSCH, aka Jack M. Outt of Beat Some Ash, has already come up with a handy excuse for his team's so-so first half. The former Padre farmhand is blaming those "damn agents" . . . MEANWHILE, good luck to everyone during the second half. And remember to declare your mid-season trades soon. Check the website at www.santa-lechuga.com for more trade information.

©2002 Tony Livernois and Joe Livernois. All rights reserved.